Managing the Fear of Miscarriage During Pregnancy
Pregnancy can bring a mix of emotions- joy, excitement, hope, and unfortunately, fear. For many expectant parents, one of the most common fears is the possibility of miscarriage. This fear can feel overwhelming, especially for those who have experienced infertility, previous pregnancy loss, or high levels of anxiety. While miscarriage is a reality that many families face, it’s important to remember that most pregnancies do result in healthy outcomes. Still, the fear can take a toll on your mental health.
In this post, we’ll explore why miscarriage anxiety shows up, how it can affect you, and practical strategies to help you manage it.
Why the Fear of Miscarriage Is So Common
Lack of control: Pregnancy often brings a sense of vulnerability. While there are certain “dos” and “don’ts” in pregnancy, there is so much unknown and so much outside of your control. It’s common for a lack of control to trigger fears of something going wrong.
Previous loss or infertility: If you’ve experienced miscarriage or fertility challenges, the fear can be amplified. These past experiences can leave you doubting that good things can happen for you and make it more difficult to trust in the process.
Stories and statistics: Reading about miscarriage online or hearing stories from others can increase worry. While it can be helpful to be informed, our brain can highlight these stories and fuel the fear we are experiencing.
High sensitivity and perfectionism: If you’re someone who tends toward perfectionism or high responsibility, you may put immense pressure on yourself to “do everything right.” Even though you know there is nothing extra you can do to prevent a miscarriage, perfectionism can leave you fixating on every little thing.
How Miscarriage Anxiety Can Show Up
Fear of miscarriage doesn’t always look like obvious worry. It can show up in subtle or daily ways:
Constantly checking for symptoms (or the absence of them)
Repeatedly using pregnancy tests or at-home dopplers for reassurance
Difficulty connecting emotionally with the pregnancy “just in case”
Avoiding making plans for the baby, buying items, or sharing the news
Trouble sleeping, intrusive thoughts, or racing “what if” worries
While these behaviors may be common and normal in small amounts, we cross the threshold into anxiety when we find ourselves stuck in these places frequently. We tend to dismiss the significance of these behaviors or worries because everyone has them a little bit- and unfortunately end up dismissing our own need for care and support.
If you find yourself coming back to worries about miscarriage, now is a great time to connect to the healing and support you need and deserve.
Coping Strategies for Managing Miscarriage Anxiety
1. Ground Yourself in the Present
Pregnancy is lived one day at a time. Grounding practices can bring you back to the current moment rather than spiraling into “what if” scenarios. Here are a few practices to try:
Deep Breathing: take a few minutes to slow down your breathing. If comfortable, allow your exhales to be a count or two longer than your inhale. Guided practices, such as this Meditation for When You’re Feeling Anxious can be helpful in these moments.
5-4-3-2-1 Skill: Bring yourself back to the present by noticing 5 things that you can see, 4 things that you can touch, 3 things that you can hear, 2 things that you can smell, and 1 thing that you can taste.
Soothe Your Senses: Ground yourself in the moment and connect to soothing sensations by cuddling with a soft blanket, lighting a nice candle, or eating a comfort food.
2. Limit Over-Googling and Reassurance Seeking
It’s natural to want certainty, but endless searching often heightens fear. Setting boundaries around the information you take in. This might look like limiting your online searches to only reputable medical websites, getting off your phone in the times of day that you tend to be more anxious, curating your social media algorithm so that your feed isn’t filled with stories that fuel your worries.
3. Lean on Supportive People
Talk with trusted friends, a partner, or a therapist about your worries. Sometimes just saying your fears out loud lessens their intensity. Support groups (online or in-person) for those pregnant after loss can also help you feel less alone. Postpartum Support International hosts several free online support groups which can be helpful during this time.
4. Find Safe Ways to Connect With Your Pregnancy
If fear makes it hard to bond, try small rituals that feel grounding but not overwhelming: start with whatever feels more comfortable and build up from there. Place your hand on your belly and imagine greeting your baby, take a prenatal yoga class, journal about your experience, write a letter to your baby, or allow yourself to go shopping for a few baby items.
5. Work With Your Healthcare Team
Don’t hesitate to share your fears with your doctor or midwife. Your team is going to have more accurate and specific information for you than an online google search will. Sometimes, some additional reassurance from your team can be just what you need.
6. Consider Therapy for Pregnancy Anxiety
If fear feels overwhelming or constant, perinatal therapists can help you process anxiety, past trauma, and uncertainty. Therapists who specialize in pregnancy understand the fears that can show up during pregnancy- and can support you in building skills to navigate anxiety as well as connect to your authentic self during pregnancy as well as in parenthood.
Be Gentle With Yourself
It’s okay to be scared. Fearing miscarriage doesn’t mean it’s more likely to happen. Feeling disconnected from your pregnancy doesn’t mean that you don’t love your baby. And, feeling uncomfortable now doesn’t mean that you will forever. Be gentle with yourself along the way, and rest assured that with some extra support you can get to a place that feels much lighter.
You Deserve Support
If you’re struggling with the fear of miscarriage, know that you’re not alone. Many parents-to-be experience these thoughts, and support is available.
At Minnesota Center for Psychology, we specialize in the tender seasons of growing your family, and we want to support you along this journey. Meet a licensed therapist who specializes in exactly what you need- and book a free 15-minute consultation to get started.