5 Skills to Help You Regulate Your Nervous System
When life feels overwhelming, our bodies often let us know before our minds catch up. That racing heart, tight chest, or restless energy isn’t just “stress”- it’s your nervous system working hard to keep you safe. The nervous system is the body’s communication network, constantly scanning for cues of safety or danger and sending signals that shape how we feel, think, and react.
To “regulate” your nervous system means to help bring it back into balance. Instead of staying stuck in fight, flight, or freeze mode- regulation allows your body to shift into a calmer, more grounded state where you can think clearly, connect with others, and feel more at ease. It’s not about eliminating stress entirely- because stress is a normal part of life, and having an appropriate stress response is important- but about building the skills to ride those waves with steadiness rather than being swept away.
The good news is that nervous system regulation isn’t something you either have or don’t have- it’s a set of skills you can practice. Just like strengthening a muscle, the more you use these tools, the easier it becomes to recover from stress and return to a sense of calm. In this post, we’ll look at five simple but powerful practices to help you regulate your nervous system and feel more grounded in your daily life.
But first, let’s help you identify when your nervous system is stuck in a stress response that isn’t serving you.
What is a stress response?
Our stress response, also known as fight-or-flight response, is triggered by our sympathetic nervous system when our bodies perceive a threat. This response releases stress hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol- which can motivate us towards helpful action when we are actually in a threatening situation. For example, if your house is on fire, your stress response will motivate you towards action so that you can get to safety.
But, is this stress response always helpful? Often, our lived experiences leave our stress response signaling us to threat in moments that are not actually threatening. We get an email from our boss checking in on a project and then feel a flood of adrenaline and cortisol that pushes us to feel like we either need to immediately complete the project or leaves us totally from. Our partner doesn’t quickly respond to our text message, and our hormones fuel a cycle of worry about the worst-case scenario. Our mom questions us on a decision we make, and then we end up spiraling through self-doubt and anxiety.
Our stress response can be helpful and essential in many situations. And, when we are not in a situation where immediate action is necessary, this urgency for immediate action can cut us off from the complex evaluation or problem solving that may be needed. And- sometimes- we are feeling a stress response when no problem solving is needed- rather just a practice in navigating discomfort.
Common signs that your sympathetic nervous system has been triggered:
increased heart rate
increased respiration- breathing faster or more shallow
sweaty palms
gastrointestinal distress
muscle tension
difficulty concentrating or being present
thinking that is all-or- none or highly influenced by emotions
the urge to act immediately or impulsively
feeling frozen or unable to act
racing thoughts
How do you know if your stress response is needed or not?
Your stress response is always telling you something- and through practice, you will be able to identify it’s needs better. But, often, your physical stress response is telling you something that your mind can’t fully process or interpret. One of the main purposes of nervous system regulation practices is to work on coping with your discomfort in a way that your nervous system understands.
I often tell my therapy clients “If you are able to pause for a moment to ask yourself if this stress response is needed right now- it probably isn’t urgently needed.” If your house is on fire, you’re not going to question the rush of adrenaline that you feel. If you are able to get curious about your response, you could probably benefit from some nervous system regulation practice.
Why do nervous system regulation practices help?
Again, nervous system regulation practices are not intended to get rid of our stress response all together. Having a response to what is going on around us is important! Nervous system regulation practices don’t suppress emotions. They help us to slow down and lower the intensity of our stress response enough to better understand and respond to our emotions.
Nervous system regulation practices can help you to:
better asses and problem solve
understand your emotions and respond to them in the short and long-term
navigate and tolerate normal experiences of discomfort
be more present in your life
work towards your goals
respond to relationships more skillfully
feel more in control of your choices in life
Now let’s get to it: 5 Nervous System Regulation Skills
Some of these may be practices you have done here and there, or do unintentionally from time to time. And, when we can utilize nervous system regulation skills intentionally at the times that we need them most- they can truly be life changing.
Deep Breathing
When we are in fight-or-flight mode, we typically are breathing fast and shallow. So, by intentionally slowing down our breath and allowing our breath to be fuller- we are communicating to to our body that we are safe enough to slow down. Here are some things to keep in mind when practicing deep breathing:
Lengthen your breath- even by just a count or two. For example, if you are inhaling to a count of 3 and exhaling to a count of 3, try to inhale to a count of 4 and exhale to a count of 4. Don’t push yourself to a point of discomfort, rather, gradually lengthen your breath in a way that feels comfortable in your body.
If it feels comfortable, allow your exhale to be a count or two longer than your inhale as longer exhales can be very calming to our nervous system. Here, you might inhale for a count of 4 and exhale for a count of 6.
Deepen your breath to a full breath, rather than a shallow breath. You can place one hand on your belly and one hand on your chest- with each inhale feel both your belly and chest rise, with each exhale feel your belly and chest fall.
Guided breath practices can be especially helpful in moments of stress. Here is a free simple breath practice to try out!
Cold Exposure
Cold exposure is a great way to trigger our vagus nerve- which thus triggers our parasympathetic nervous system (aka calming down the stress response). Getting specifically the area of the eyes and nose cold can be the most helpful- but there are several ways you can practice:
Place an ice pack over the eyes- the beaded ice packs designed for headaches can be great for this! Lay back and do some deep breathing while you have your ice pack on for 5-15 minutes.
Dunk your face into a bowl of ice water, holding your breath for as long as feels comfortable to boost effectiveness. You can do a few rounds of this.
Turn the water to cold in the shower for a few minutes and let the cold water run down your face and neck.
If you enjoy cold plunges- go for it!
Please note that cold exposure may not be safe for those with certain health conditions- such as heart conditions. Consult with your doctor before practicing cold exposure.
Movement-based Practices
When our nervous system is in a stress response, we need to speak the language of our body. And, movement is a great way to do that! With some practice, you can learn to read the cues of your body to identify what it needs. Here are a few ways you can use movement to regulate your nervous system:
Get in some exercise that is going to increase your heart rate. This movement can help give your stress hormones somewhere to go. When we do a higher intensity exercise, we let the fight-or-flight response know that we took some action. This can be especially helpful in moments when you feel jittery or on edge.
Engage in silly movements. Get up and dance around. Jump up and down. Flail your limbs around as wildly as you can. Not only does this help to get rid of those excess stress hormones, but the sillyness of the movements may help get your mind into a different state too.
Engage in gentle and relaxing movements when you need to ground. This might be doing some gentle stretches, a restorative yoga class, or going for a slow walk in nature. This practice can let your body know that you are safe enough to slow down. This can be especially helpful if you are trying to wind down for the day or get to sleep.
Do a progressive muscle relaxation. For this practice, you’ll isolate different areas of the body, and as you inhale tense that area, and as you exhale, release that area. You can do full body progressive muscle relaxations, like this guided progressive muscle relaxation, or isolate the areas that tend to get tense when you are stressed.
Soothe the Senses
Taking the time to soothe your senses can be a great way to communicate to your nervous system that you are safe. Through practice, you can find which senses you tap into the most. Here are some ideas for each sensation:
Touch: cuddling up with a soft blanket, taking a warm bath or shower, snuggling a pet, wearing cozy clothing.
Sight: looking out at nature on a walk, watching a video with calming scenes, looking through pictures that are comforting, setting the lighting to a cozy level.
Smell: lighting a candle, using soap that you enjoy, baking cookies, putting on lotion that smells nice.
Sound: listen to calming music, going outside and listen to the sounds of nature, create a playlist of your comfort songs.
Taste: eat one of your comfort foods, get your favorite tea or coffee drink, have a mint or other hard candy you enjoy.
Body Scans
Body scans can be a great way to check-in with what’s going on your body. Our bodies communicate to us often, yet we tend to be pretty good at distracting ourselves from its cues. As we practice body scans more often, we can better understand what our body is trying to communicate to us. And, for many, body scans can be very grounding and relaxing. This meditation for sleep includes a body scan for when you need a guided practice.
When you need more support- know that it’s okay to get the professional help you need.
Nervous system regulation practices are great- and sometimes- we have deeper work to do so that our nervous system isn’t sent into a stress response so easily. Therapy can be a great place to learn these coping skills as well as unpack what’s underneath.
At Minnesota Attachment Collective, we value unpacking the stories you hold and supporting you as you build the life you want to live. Meet us here to learn more and book a free 15-minute consultation to get started!